Hemorrhoid Cream

Medical Topic of the Day:  My friend <name redacted> wants to know about hemorrhoid creams.  How, they work, what is in them and is it a good topping for salads?  So let's explore this topic.

Off the Top of My Head:  Typically hemorrhoid creams contain active ingredients to reduce swelling, numb the effected area or both.  But before we get into the cream contents, let's define what a hemorrhoid is.

My Research Today:  Hemorrhoids are enlarged veins near the surface of your skin by the rectum and anus.  They become swollen due to increasing pressure applied to them by straining or other pressures like pregnancy or constipation.  Most typically they are caused by straining when trying to poop.  There can be two types of hemorrhoids, external and internal.  For the simplicity of this article we will be focusing on external hemorrhoids.

Hemorrhoids in production.

The main mechanism through which most hemorrhoid creams work is though vasoconstriction.  Vasoconstriction is the process of your arteries or veins constricting or getting smaller.  Without getting into specifics of blood chemistry the effective agents in the cream act on the smooth muscles that line the walls of your blood vessels.  There are all kinds of vasoconstirctors that work by different means but that is essentially the end result.

Topically applying the cream to the affected hemorrhoid is ideal as you are applying a vasoconstrictor almost directly to the inflamed vein.  Hemorrhoid creams come in different formulations and flavors.  Most commonly the active ingredient is phenylepherine also found in over-the-counter decongestants.  Also commonly found in hemorrhoid creams is witch-hazel which is a natural astringent and pramoxine which is similar to lidocaine to numb the area in question.

Many people have heard the old wive's tale of putting Preparation-H under their eyes to reduce puffiness and swelling.  And you can do that but it is just gross, unless you live in Canada.  That formulation of Preporation-H was un-shelved from stores in the US in 1955 but the original formula is still sold in Canada.  Leave it to filthy Canadians to put ass cream on their face.

Filthy Canadians

The pre-1955 formulation contained some sort of live yeast cell extract called Biodyne.  Classified by the FDA as a wound healing agent, Biodyne speeds healing by increasing oxygen to cells through something something complicated something.  How exactly that reduces hemorrhoids or swelling around the eyes is a subject of debate but there is some merit to it.

No, it totally is.

Anyways this article is getting too long, I hope I answered all of your questions, <name redacted>.  Have a good night!

Quest To 180:
3 miles today.  13K steps.

The MAN:
Meh