Duda's Epic Quest To Epicness

Medical Topic of the day:
Today's Topic:  Priapisms or Why not waiting 4 hours to call your doctor is important.


Off the top of my head:  After working in the ED for 5 years I have only ever seen one priapism and it was a horrible, horrible blood bath.  I know that you should probably start thinking about calling your doctor  after 3 hours of having a boner and that pripisms are painful because the blood starts to clot in your weiner making your weiner ischemic.  Ischemia means tissue death which is painful.  I think they inject phenylepherine in your D and I know that ultimately you can have your dong amputated if nothing else works.  So lets explore this terrible topic. Hey, someone has to study this shit.

My research today:  Web MD says that a priapism is a boner that lasts for more than 4 hours without sexual stimulation.  The condition develops when blood in your wang gets trapped and is unable to drain.  It can occur at any age provided you have a wang to begin with.

There are two types of priapisms Low-flow and High flow.  Low flow is more common and has no particular known cause but can be more prominent in men with sickle-cell or leukemia.  High flow is caused by a ruptured artery from an injury to your penis or perineum.  So I guess a broken weiner could cause it and yes, you can break your weiner.

A lot of priapisms are caused from use or misuse of medications.  So don't take anyone else's weiner pills.  Cocaine and weed can actually cause priapisms.  Not together, although that probably doesn't help, but use of either one.

Ways of treating a priapism:

• Ice packs - that ain't bad.
• Surgical ligation - I.E. tying off the ruptured artery in your junk.  Probably sucks.
• Intracavernous injection - injecting junk, in your junk.  Like phenylepherine.  I am sure it sucks.
• Surgical shunt - Diverting blood flow to return normal circulation. Probably is not so great.
• Aspiration - Numbing your weiner and expressing old blood from it.  Has to 100% suck.
• Amputation of weiner - Actually called a penectomy. and no, I did not make that up. Can't suck any harder than this.

So there you go.  Interesting stuff.  Also horrifying.

Quest to 180:
Current Weight:  226
Activity Today:  On my bike for like 38 minutes.  Eight miles.  What?
Diet today: I made quiche.  Mushroom and spinach.  it was real good.

Comments: Feeling pretty good today.

The MAN:
Confidence Level:  Medium
Social Engineering Tactics:  Interior decorating
Comments:  Did you know that chicks don't think Star Wars posters are cool?


Random:
Listening to:  Def Leppard
Watching:  Jackass Number Two - Don't judge me!
Reading:  Whipping Star by Frank Hebert
Something fun:  Star Trek towels.  That's cool, right?

The first commercially available toilet paper was considered "too nice" to use as such.  What most people bought it for?  Stationery.

Questions or comments can be submitted to dudaday@gmail.com

Disclaimer:  I am not a health care provider, any information presented in this blog should not be considered advice it is mealy an outlet to slake my curiosity.  You should always consult your primary medical provider for any concerns or illness.  Unlike Tylenol, I am not approved by the FDA or American Medical Association to treat or provide relief for any ailment.