Saturday, June 9, 2012

Tongue Piercings

Sorry ya'll.  I went to a graduation party today and got sucked into playing beer pong and I am way too old for that shit.  Holy crap is tomorrow morning going to suck.

Medical Topic of the Day:  Tongue piercing.  Today we are looking at the non-benefits of otherwise sexy tongue piercings.

Off The Top Of My Head:  Tongue piercings are a mixed bag.  On one hand they can make you seem sexy and hip and on the other hand they make you talk like you have cerebral palsy.  I don't have one myself but I know a lot of people who do have this body modification.  Let's explore.

My Research Today:  Regardless of how cool you think your tongue piercing is it comes with the following risks:

Broken teef.  AKA broken teeth.  People with tongue piercings have a higher incidence of broken teeth secondary to they have a chunk of metal in their mouth constantly.

(Insert pic of gross ass teef here)

If you have a tongue piercing you also have a higher rate of gum disease and tooth decay.  I am not sure if that speaks to the quality of the people getting tongue piercings or if it is because of the piercing itself but either way, if you want to gum your food and your women, get a tongue piercing.

You can puncture your lingual artery and bleed to death in a horrible, horrible way.  Your tongue does contain an artery and veins and if you have an inexperienced piercer you can puncture them.  Bleeding in your tongue is difficult to stop and your mouth is full of bacteria compounding the risk of an infection.

The infection you get just might kill you or cause an abscess in your brain.  Your tongue is fairly close to your brain and an infection in the right place can track to your brain quickly.  Nothing says sexy like a chunk of your skull sawed out to make room for cerebral edema.

Do you already have a tongue piercing?  Well you have just doubled your chance of acquiring strep throat if exposed.  That hole in your tongue becomes a virtual haven for bacteria and your mouth is always nice and warm and moist.

Conclusion:  Don't get a tongue piercing unless you are a porn star.

Quest to 180: 
Weight:  227
Activity:  Rest day.  10K steps though.
So much etoh today.  Good God.  So much.  There is not enough motrin in the world.  No more graduation parties and beer pong for me.

The MAN: 
Still working on confidence, I was feeling ok today but I was also drunk most of the time so I sort of feel that doesn't count.  Will try to update tomorrow when less intoxicated.

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